Monday, May 08, 2006

The J.A.W.A. Convention: Day 3

Finally, the last day of the convention. Not that the other stuff wasn’t all shits and giggles but come on. I’m really only here to get my award. The coveted...prized…golden…Jawa Award! (also known as the Shemp for some reason)

Hmmm…I think they’re making it with lead this year. Of course we had to sit through a long seminar with supposedly important jawas making speeches on how much we’ve contributed to the galaxy and what a credit our race is. Oh jeez, please! Everyone knows jawas are looked upon by almost everyone as just one step up from the common cockroach and three steps up from Snivians.

So, I had to sit through speech after speech with just some watered down drinks to keep me satisfied until they handed out the award. Qui Gon sat beside me the entire time which got a lot of odd looks since most only saw a hovering poncho. But I could see he was drifting off to sleep too.

Finally, the awards ceremony was announced but not before some entertainment…

Man, they were bad! What are we doing with an Earth band at a J.A.W.A. convention anyway?

Finally the chairman of J.A.W.A. came up to announce the three finalists.

“Today we come to honor three very important jawas. Jawas who have made a difference in the galaxy and thus deserve special recognition. The first of the three is L’ookeebee, whose research in advanced sleeping techniques directly in the hot sun has allowed major breakthroughs in slacking.”

“Next we have N’ooo’bb, an eccentric inventor from the Dune Sea and creator of the giant Space Nipple.”

“And thirdly, a jawa who wishes to only be known as J.J. whose remarkable skills in the marketing of yummy fudgy chocolaty spiced brownies has brought the galaxy much joy in a time of unrest.”

“And the winner is……” I got up. “N’ooo’bb, for his giant Space Nipple.” I sat down.

Man, I was robbed. I give the galaxy spiced brownies and I don’t even win a Shemp? That blows! I slump down in my chair as this Noob guy walks up and get his award. Whatever.

“Ain’t it time for us to be leaving yet?” I asked lighting a cigar and folding my arms.

“Uh yeah, we can go now, J.J.” said Qui Gon. “Besides…you got to go back and count all those millions of credits you’re making from your business.”

I smiled up at him. He always knew the right thing to say.

I guess it wasn’t a total loss. It was nice seeing everyone again. I came out of the casino’s ahead, Qui bought some rare plants for his garden and as runner up I got this cool autographed picture of Queen Galacta.


A Army Of (Cl)One said...

What?!?!?! That’s terrible. You were robbed (a giant nipple you say… stay focused). Your brownies are the true invention of the year and have done to get the face a of Jawa before more (how big of a nipple was that again?) millions of beings thought out the galaxy. Of course they are all “spiced up” people who can’t remember what they had for breakfast or where they parked the VW Speeder van with all the bumper stickers. (where would one find this giant nipple if a friend, yeah that the ticket …a friend wanted one) Tough luck JJ, I hope you do better next year. (maybe if the Republic has to invade Tattoine we can get the giant nipple technology…)

Barriss Offee said...

Your still a winner to me.

flu said...

um... this won;t affect my lifetime supply of free brownies, will it?


JawaJuice said...

nope. You're lifetime supply is safe. You're locked in for another 6 years.

Anonymous said...

Nipple me this ...... I mean tell me this , did you pass around a bunch of Brownies to the judges before the speaches?

They probably had the cotton mouth, and that nipple was lookin invitin to them !

Queen Galacta said...

Sealed with a kiss, JJ.

Master Yoda said...

An old saying my people have -

If have to something you have to lose, lose to a giant space nipple you must.

Until right now, no sense that ever made to me.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

ROLF due to Master Yoda

Anonymous said...

hey I think the votes were rigged

wow well you should have won

Lori said... was noticed over at my place for the 200th post party!!!

Have a great day!!!