Thursday, October 20, 2005

Poker Night

So we got this new place, Sure, I’ll have a huge blow-out party sometime soon, maybe when all the Survivor episodes are all aired, but for right now just a little poker with some of the guys sounded perfect.

I made some calls, broke out the chips and dip and other munchies, made sure CU-812 was ready to mix the drinks behind the mini bar while ol’ Trash-E stomped around cleaning up the place. I put on my visor and lit up a stogie. I was ready.

I asked if Qui-Gon wanted to join in but he told me he wanted to meditate for a while but may join in later.

First to arrive were Obi-Wan and Mace. Obs of course brought his own supply of Cheetos. Anakin and Yoda soon followed. It seems they were in the middle of an argument about hitting a post on the way here which resulted in Anakin squealing from a force wedgie.. Typho, Han and Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator came by next. Quickly followed by Jar-Jar. Now, I know what you’re all thinking, why bring Jar Jar? Hey, we’re playing for credits here. A mark is a mark.

Fluke stopped by also with some strange blue collard guy in tow.

J.J.: Hey Fluke. Glad you could make it. Eh….who’s your friend?

Fluke: Hmmm? Oh him. That’s my science officer, Mr. Sprok. I…uh…had to bring him along. I couldn’t leave him alone….if you know what I mean. He then formed his hand into a bottle and whispered, you know…Glug-Glug-Glug.

I didn’t but I let them in anyway. That was everyone…or so I thought. Just as we were settling into our seats in the game room, the door bell rang again. I scurried down the stairs and answered the door. On the other side were Senator Palpatine and Count Dooku.

Dooku: I dare say, ol chap, is this where the card game is being held. I do so love a good ripping game of cards. You must be the butler.

He then handed me his top hat and cashmere scarf.

J.J.: No, I’m the owner here. How did you guys know that…

Palps: Tish-tish, my good jawa. What difference does it make, we’re here now. And we’ve brought plenty of credits with us.

He jangled a sack of coins in his front pocket…at least I hope they were a sack of coins. I shrugged and let them in. I suppose the rest of them could put aside their differences for a friendly game.

But when I lead them upstairs to the parlor…

Yoda: Dooku!!!

Dooku: Master Yoda

Anakin: Wha- Dooku!!!!

Dooku: Master Anakin

Mace: Dooku?!?!!!

Dooku: Master Windu.

Fluke: Coronal mustard!!! I mean Dooku!!!!!

Palps: Yes, yes. I’m sure it comes as a bit of a shock to see the count here, but I assure you his intentions are purely to play some cards. That is all.

Yoda: And know this, how do you, senator?

Palps: Why, I simply asked him, of course.

Han: Hey are we gonna gab all night or are we gonna play some cards? My fingers are beginning to itch and that’s a good thing. Besides, who cares who they are so long as they got the credits.

Han’s point was well taken so we sat down at the table, broke out the cards and set up the chips. CU-812 made the rounds taking orders for drinks.

It was dealer’s choice so I started the night with a simple five-card draw. First bets were laid out, then the cards drawn.

J.J.: How many cards you want Fluke? Eh…can you see your cards through that blast shield?

Fluke: hm? Oh sure. I can get a feel for them. I’ll take one card. NO Four!! Yeah, that’s it.

J.J.: uh hu. Jon?

Jon: Oh, I’ll hold on to these.

That drew some nervous stares.

As it turned out he was bluffing. And the pot came down to Dooku, Typho and Han. Not surprisingly the first game went to Han with a diamond flush.

Now, as I sat and played for the first hour I began to pick up on the interesting quirks of other players. For example Obi-Wan always stuck in there and bet, even when he had nothing.And if he did have something good he would nibble on a Cheeto like a rat. Yoda would more times than not giggle under his breath when he had some good hand. A poker face he does not have. Windu was the easiest mark of all. All you had to do to beat Windu was look at the reflection of his cards off his shiny skull. It wasn’t long before he was the first person out. To this day, he still didn’t know how he always lost every hand.

Dooku would always take a long savoring sip of his drink before betting big which usually meant he had something good and the rest of us should get out.

Palps hardly bet aggressive and rarely pressed his luck. Instead he seemed content to watch how other people bet. Very sneaky, that one.

On the other hand, Anakin would always raise and raise big.

Jar-Jar? Well, let’s just say Gungan and cards are not the best of mixes. Although he did win one big hand quite unexpectedly. He was up against Jon’s full house and had only two pair….a pair of black eights and a pair of red eights. Needless to say he was surprise at winning that.

Yoda, who was sitting on Typho’s left kept leaning in ever so subtlety into the captain’s blind spot to sneak a peek at his cards.

Typho: Hey…what are you doing. Just cuz I don’t have an eye on that side doesn’t mean I can’t tell you’re trying to cheat.

Yoda: Cheating, am I? No, leaning forward to release some gas, I was. Smell it can you?

After a while Dooku was down a lot of chips and he was beginning to drink more heavily.

Dooku: Another Gin and tonic, my good (hic) droid, and make it a double.

I couldn’t tell but I thought maybe Fluke was cheating also. He had that silly blast helmet on and Mr. Sprok just stood at attention behind him. Hmmm…I wonder…

After only one hour, it was clear that Han, Jon, and Typho were the card sharks at this table. I was holding my own, but they were good. Despite Yoda’s not too subtle forms of cheating, he was down to his last few credits and Anakin betting up a storm was almost out also. But I could smell a change in the air. I knew my luck would come in, if I just held out the night.

It was going to be a long night…


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh boy cards! I loves my Crazy 8's and Old Maids!

Master Yoda said...

Cheating I am not. See Typho's pair of Jacks I can not!

flu said...

Uh, Jar Jar, you should wait until after the deal is complete before folding.

Leia said...

I'm surprised Dooku and Palps didn't try anything. Shame on you Jedi!

Captain Typho said...

The change you "smell in the air" is definitely coming from Yoda.

flu said...

Who keeps throwing dice at me!?!

This is POKER, not craps!

Chancellor Palpatine said...

More about why Dooku and I showed up together is forthcoming in my blog. Stay Tuned... ;-)

Anakin Skywalker said...

Sumbody better tell Obs that poker chips ain't for eatin.