Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Penthouse that Brownies Built

J.J. and Qui-Gon step off the elevator onto the small hallway just outside their apartment.

J.J.: Now are you sure you got your eyes closed?

QG: uh, yeah.

J.J.: Just making sure. It’s hard to tell with ya being a force ghost an all.

QG: So like, what’s the surprise? Where are we?

J.J.: Where are we? Why….we’re home, my friend. Our new home! Okay…open your eyes!

QG: Woah. What happened to our old place?

J.J.: Completely remodeled. This time untouched by the boys of F.O.O.F. We now own the top two floors of the tower and every stitch of it redone. Come on. I’ll give ya the grand tour!

We were just in the communal elevator and hallway (1). Our only neighbors are some Grans. Don’t know them too well. Then we walk into the marble hallway (2) with a coat closet off to the side (2b) and into our huge, spacious sunken living room (3) with a giant curved window giving a fantastic view of Coruscant. In the back there we have a fully stocked bar too. (3b) as well as a side bathroom (3c).

QG: Who’s the protocol droid across the bar?

J.J.: Oh that’s CU-812. He’s new. He acts as a kinda butler, but mostly he fixes the drinks.

CU-812: Good afternoon Master J.J., Master Jinn. May I fix you two a drink? I am well versed in over six thousand forms of drink recipes.
J.J.: Not right now thank you. We also have Trash-E around here somewhere too. He’s been reprogrammed to clean up the place. Now…let’s continue on, shall we? Off to the side here we have a nice size dining room (4) and fully stocked modern kitchen as well (5). Just beyond is the experimental kitchen (6) where we can experiment around with new brownie concoctions. Plus a secured room for the spice (6b). Of course the main production is still manufactured at the factory, but this gives us a chance to work on things here on our own.

QG: Whoa, that’s like totally groovy man. But aren’t you worried about someone like, sneaking in here and stealing our recipes…not to mention the spice?

J.J.: Have no fear. I hired on Captain Typho to wire the place up with tons of security. He did a great job of the place. So much so I gave him a bonus, which as you know I don’t normally do, but he earned it.

Now let’s head over here. I’d like to call this our little art gallery hallway (7). On the other side is the library which can also substitute as a cigar lounge (8). Down below we have my office (9) and your office (10). Finally on this level we have the entertainment room (11). A huge room with comfortable couches and giant high definition plasma screen TV and surround sound speakers. Only the best, ya know. Ya can watch movies, listen to music, play the Super Deluxe Toshy© XXL-Box hyper-mega game system, complete with eight robo-controllers. You name it.

Okay, let’s get go up the stairs here.

QG: Stairs?

J.J.: That’s right Qui, ol buddy. We added the top floor to our home and completely redone that too.

First we have the guest bedrooms (12) In case some of our friends need ta crash. Over on this side we have my secluded living area (13) and bedroom (13b). I also added a sauna (14) for those times I really miss the heat. And of course the bathroom and walk in closet (15).

Now let’s walk across the hallway and we have your room (16) complete with beanbag chairs and also bathroom and walk in closet (17), if…eh you need that sort of thing.

You also have your own meditation room (18) and best of all, your own garden room (19) for all your plants and stuff. That room over there is a storage room for soil and stuff (19b).

QG: Dude….look at all the plants….it’s like….ya know…beautiful man.

J.J.: Glad you like it. But come on. I got a few more surprises for you. Back out the hallway we have guest bathrooms (20) and our laundry room (21) but you’ll never guess what’s behind this door. That’s right your own jam area complete with recording studio (22) for those times you just want to play the guitar or what have you. Invite some friends and jam away.

Now lets walk through the recording area out this door to the north and you’ll see we have a very nice outdoor balcony complete with Jacuzzi, lawn chairs and BBQ. (24) While just inside is another bathroom/ changing area for guests (23).

Finally we have the game room (25) complete with pool table, a huge card table and even a foosball table. Not to mention another smaller mini bar off to the side. And just up those steps is a side mezzanine (25b) where you can see all the latest arcade games are lined up. As you can see, there is another spiral staircase leading down into the living room from here too.

Finally we have the garage with speeder (27) and the droid repair shop/junk room (26).

So what do you think?

QG: Dude…it’s like….pretty far out!

J.J.: I take it then you like it.

QG: Oh yeah, man. Especially my jam room and garden.

J.J.: Good. I didn’t have a lot of time to go over the plans with you and I kinda wanted to surprise you too. But now there’s one more thing that needs to be done.

QG: A house warming party?

J.J.: Eh….that too. No, what I wanted to say was….well…I know we’ve had loads of wacky, zany adventures. We started Uncle Jinn and JJ’s Home-Made Super-Fudgy Special-Spiced brownies with a brownie pan, 27 credits worth of ingredients and the majority of your stash, but things are changing.

QG: oh oh….I think I know what’s coming…I think I saw this in a dream or something…

J.J.: As you know I am the majority shareholder of stock in our company…

QG: (looks around) Okay…where is he?

J.J.: (perplexed) Where’s who?

QG: Dooku.

J.J.: Dooku!?!? Why would that scoundrel be here?

QG: To…to replace me. You see I had this very vision…in those rings of fear on Survivor….I saw this coming…

J.J: Replace you? You’re kidding right? Dude…I want to make you a full fledged partner. 50/50…down the middle. You control the creative half…I control the business half.

QG: You…you mean you’re not firing me?

J.J.: No. You’re my business partner…but more importantly…you’re my friend. My best friend. I don’t know why I can see and talk to you, force ghost that you are, but for some reason I can. I always could. I came to Coruscant alone and not just a little lost and there you were…floating around your old home I had just acquired. I guess it was fate. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. From now on you're not some lackey here…you’re my partner. You have an equal say in what happens to our business.

QG: I…I don’t know what to say…

J.J.: Say you’ll sign this paper making it official…partner. Good. Now let’s put on some vintage Pink Fambaa and hang out in our new place…friend.


Qui-Gon Jinn said...

*teary eyed* No-one's ever done anything like this for, like, me, like, ever, man. *sniff*
I think I'll write you a song... Call it You're My Best Friend...
A Very Grateful,

flu said...

wwwwwWWWWWOW! Awesome place!

...and all this from 1.99 sales of fourpacks of brownies?

Oh, man... I'm in the wrong business!

Ah, well, as long as I keep getting the freebies, it's cool.

Master Yoda said...

Nice this place is. But told that be here Ty Pennington would be. Where he is?

Leia said...

I bet it'd be fun sliding down the handrails on the stairs of such a fancy house.

Adi Gallia said...

You are going to throw a party in that awesome new place aren't you?

Chancellor Palpatine said...

Hmmm. I already control the Oreo cookie and snacks trade through my front companies of Sith, Inc. Perhaps a hostile takeover of the brownie market is in order.... {evil cackle}

Captain Typho said...

Thanks for the "bonus," but what am I gonna do with all of this roadkill??


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wow, nice digs, man.

Did the Friends of Fluke do all this?

JawaJuice said...

Oh no. Friends of ol' Fluke would never have done such a kick ass job.
I'm not sure they can even kick ass.