Monday, April 24, 2006

Promos, Letters and Drunk Squirrels

Well, I’m home again. And not a moment too soon. Sure it was fun wielding my new lightsaber all around against crazed primates and my unhinged uncle, but I think it’s time to get back to normal.

I came home to find my I-SUC droid still not talking to me. For some reason he blames me for his new legs catching on fire, but that’s nuts. I was trying to put out the fire. You would think he really wanted to shut down permanently.

The first thing I wanted to do was jump in our hot tub and have a nice long soak. So I got out of my robes, walked out onto the balcony and what do I find…?

“Yeah man, Yado like went on a binge drinking MGE,” Qui Gon said as he drifted up behind me.


“Miller Genuine Ether beer. It’s like…the only beer available in the ether man. It’s always warm too. Kinda sucks.”

“Why did he…?”

“I don’t know man. After you left he just kinda got a little depressed or something. Don’t know. Oh…but I’m glad you’re back. Take a look at this.”

Qui floated through the walls back inside. I quickly followed through the door. He stopped in the kitchen and took a jar of pickled pig’s feet and opened it, dumping out the pink jellied contents in the sink. “Um….I’ve seen you do that before, Qui ol buddy.” I told him none too impressed.

“What?” He looked down in the sink. “Oh…um…no that wasn’t it. Um…no, the new Uncle Jinn & J.J. tee shirts have arrived, man. Take a look at them.”

“I got to admit, they are pretty snazzy. You did a great job designing them, QG.”

“Oh, wow, I’m sorry. I’m going off on all this and I haven’t even asked how your mission went.” He said concerned as he opened a can of pickled herring to accompany the pig’s feet. Where did we get this strange food, anyway?

“It all worked out in the end. Let’s just say my uncle won’t be bothering us until sweeps week rolls around again. Anything else new happen here while I was gone?”

“No, it’s been pretty quiet, man. Except for Yado’s snoring. Oh….wait…you also got more mail from J.A.W.A., man.”

J.A.W.A.: Junk-dealing Associates With Ambition…or at least that’s what it stands for now. I swear I think they change that acronym every month. I use to belong to them when they were just Juiced-up Ass-holes With Attitudes. Ahh…they’ve come a long way.

“What do they want man?”

”Probably want me to contribute to their annual fund raiser.” I open up the letter half heartedly and read the contents. “Holy Smokes!! They want me to come to Tatooine this weekend at their annual J.A.W.A. convention. It seems I’m a candidate for their most successful Jawa of the year award!”


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Most successful Jawa? Congratulations.

*golf clap*

flu said...

be wary... it might be a scam...

They're prolly just wanting to borrow some brownies.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

ok I almost never swear in th eblog world, but...Oh my fucking goodness. that shirt is too cool. JJ, if this violates a PG standard I'm sorry. Feel free to take it down.

Shirt is too cool!!!

JawaJuice said...

got to thank Qui for the shirt.
It's the real thing.

Wedge Antillies said...

Yes, the shirt is 'tres cool!'

So, did the invitation include a ticket to go to Tatooine? I hate it when they give you an award and then expect you to pay for the trip! At least they could arrange a hotel for you to stay in.

Master Yoda said...

Very cool, that shirt it. A good job, Jinn did.

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

I love the shirt! Do you have one in pink?

And yeah, even if they do give you a ticket, remember how your last flight went? I'd upgrade to something a little nicer. Hopefully you don't have to sit through a 90 minute information session to get the award

Jaina Solo said...

I'll take a T-Shirt along with 20 Fudge Brownies.... If you can send them throgh time and space that is!

Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Hey, buddy,
From the far out feedback on here about the shirt, we should keep that production line moving, man.
And they are made of organic, peacefully-harvested hemp and sewn by well paid, professional adults, who have full insurance coverage, free childcare, and stock-options after 90 days, like I asked, right?
The shirts of peace shouldn't be produced by fascists.
As for your J.A.W.A. award, it's about time they recognised you, man. You're the best Jawa in the whole wide world. And the galaxy too.

Anonymous said...

Love the shirt man !!

Dores it come in XXXXXMedium

Dont forget that yoda needs one with a pocket for his pocket protector

Barriss Offee said...

Now that's one cool looking shirt!

also congrats on the J.A.W.A. reward!