Friday, January 20, 2006

G.P.-Dooku: The fine art of separatist hook-ups

Good evening to you all. And what a smashing evening it's bound to be too. Tonight I am finally getting out of this ho-hum home, putting on my best top hat and cape and sauntering over to a local brewing establishment to partake in some fine crafted elixirs. More importantly I will also be discussing the fine art of spotting, approaching and subsequently "closing the deal" on females of the separatist nature.

Now the first thing you must consider when trying to meet your average separatist woman is that they usually prefer to be alone, thus separating themselves from the common ruffians you meet at such places, thus their namesake.


Once you have your eye on a rather attractive separatist lass, you must walk up to her and engage in pleasant small talk while offering them a drink. I find a good glass a sherry or a well aged snifter of brandy to be remarkably receptive but a rum and coke or 'sex on the beach' will work in a pinch.


After the converseing pleasantries have been exchanged and the drinks have arrived, it is always a good idea to have them start by talking about themselves. This will put their mind at ease and allow you much needed time to remember their name. Case in point, I have just discovered that the very attractive woman I am talking to now is a button nosed cheerleader from the planet Hot-n-Tott. Oh my,oh my!
They do have some nice separatists in that system.

After the first drink, I then regail her with my past conquests. --Jedi conquests that is. What do you take me for, a cad? I could see she was none too impressed so I ventured forth with other stunning tid-bits such as being the founder of McDookus, and the leader of the separatist movement.


Still not impressed. (And I really thought that last talking point would do the trick.) But no matter, I enjoy a spirited challenge. I then told her of my days in a rock band with my old padawan Qui-Gon. I was sure she would develop a high level of moisture over this but instead she began to yawn.


Oh dear me, time for desperate measures.





...and two hours later here we are!



















Now you might ask yourself, just what did I say, what did I do to bring this separatist minx around to my way of thinking? It's a trade secret, my friends but since you've been kind enough to listen to me prattle on I will divulge it to you now.

I simply told her I had an enormous....











....stamp collection.


Think about it. You'll come around to it eventually.


Well, back to the trenches.

Cheerio!

9 comments:

Private Hudson said...

Stamp collecting? I don't get it.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

It must be an old stamp collection with the non-adhesive side. (much like Count Dooku).

I normally like to travel to distant planets, meet the separtist and KILL THEM ALL.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

By the way is it 4 in the morning or 4 in the afternoon. If it is 4 in the morning, what world because it is birght in your room.

Vampirella said...

Stamp collecting huh?

I think next xmas I am getting all the guys I know stamps

Vegeta said...

I always did like planet hot n tot Ahhh for my single days

Jango Fett said...

Count Dooku The lover.

Revan said...

I thought the chicks would be a little more robotish...

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

uhh, well, my intern and thought of somethings, but none of them are PG, so we'll just go with no comment.

flu said...

I got it.

Dooku, you ol' smoothy sepratist, you...