Friday, September 16, 2005

A Good Way to Start Your Day

I awoke early to the sound of some strange grinding noise and the acrid smell of burning machinery. I crawled out of my sink and put on my fuzzy slippers to investigate. Unfortunately, I realized a moment too late that I never brought over my fuzzy slippers. Who would have thought two month old moldy sandwiches could be so comfy?

I noticed ol Qui-Gon was out side on the balcony hovering in his morning meditative state. I suppose he couldn’t hear the grinding noise out there.

Obi-Wan was nice enough to let us stay with him while our place was being remodeled, but what a pit. And the kitchen was the worst. That’s where I found him making what I could only guess was breakfast.

“Hey, I’m making some smoothies? Ya want some?” he offered scratching his butt.

“eh….maybe….what’s in there?”

“Oh, the usual power smoothie us Jedi Knights start the day with. Some orange juice, tomato juice, sun-ripened womprat tails, a krayt dragon egg (raw, of course), silly string, silly putty, beer, essence of Cheeto, warts from a worrt, green legs and spam, toenail clippings (my own), saturated wookiee fur, and a dash of Tabasco for a little kick.

Ulp! I though I was going to be sick right there. “Eh….that’s okay. I think I’ll go out and try and find a Korellia Kream.”

Obi shrugged and continued grinding the ingredients away in his thirty year old J.C. Porkins blender. It didn’t sound too good. The lights in the apartment also flickered when ever he turned the thing on. I followed the cord to the wall and saw a huge mass of exposed wires tied together and fastened with duct tape. A few sparks jumped out whenever he turned on the blender.

“eh….did you do this?”

Obi-Wan looked over his shoulder. “What? Oh that. Sure. I modified the wiring in this whole place. It was the only way I could get my speakers to go to 11.”

“Yeah, but is it safe?”

He shrugged. “I guess so.” He then returned to blending his concoction to a pulp.

Elsewhere in the Jedi Temple….


flu said...


At least he hasn't tampered with the plumbing

chantilly said...

very funny stuff. great

Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said...

Oh no! Is my Yodamonkeybuddy gonna be OK?

Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said...

Oh yeah,

Howya doin' bwauth?

Ha ha!

Leia said...

That is one disgusting smoothie. I can't imagine someone wanting to drink their own toenails.

jedisiri said...

hey i can finally laugh!hahahaha...

Master Yoda said...

To include eye of Newt Gingrich, Kenobi forgot.

Reprimand him for his unauthorized re-wiring I will after smoldering my hair stops.

neofuckingcon said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jar Jar Binks said...

Hey! Mesa tinken Obi stole thassen recipie from one of mesa traditional Gungan potion books!

Qui-Gon Jinn said...

So, like, I'm guessing that we aren't going to Obi choose the flavour of a new brownie? Likely to be Cheeto Surprise, or Crunchy Frog, man.
Garnished with only the finest Lark's Vomit.