Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Morning Mourning

Okay…just relax. I got ta tell myself I’ve been in tight situations like this before.

Carefully squints eyes open beneath a shelter of blankets.

Wait….she’s gone. She must have gotten up after I pretended to fall back asleep. Maybe she got dressed and slinked back to where ever she came from.

Throws the covers back and takes a deep breath.

Oh man oh man oh man…I can’t believe I had inter-species sex with a…..Ithorian. I must have been really hammered!

Cringe at bad pun and reach for a stogie on the bedside table. Light it up and take a steadying breath. Look around carefully at my surroundings.

Hey….wait a moment….this is my room…AT HOME! I think…? Who put up all this foo-foo crap? Oooh….my head. I wish I could remember more.

Some floating images of the night before drift back into his memory.

Oh…oh yeah…I forgot that Ithorian’s have two mouths…that was kinda sweet…

He throws the covers off himself and gets up, grabbing a fresh robe.

So how did I manage to get back home? I wonder if…she drove me? Oh, never again will I drink like that. Well, too late now. Chalk it up to a learning experience and let it go. No need to dwell on the past and all.

Slips on his Jo Jo the Monkeyboy slippers and walks out of his room towards the kitchen. The smell of frying bacon and eggs whiff down the hall to greet his nose.

“Oh…Qui….what a weekend. I’m sorry I drank so much. Ya got any coffee in there?”

Walk in kitchen…stop short stunned.

“Hey man, you’re finally up. I was beginning to wonder about you.” Said Qui-Gon fixing some tea.

“Oh, there you are sweetie-pea.” The Ithorian mewed in stereo. “I was beginning to wonder if you were going to sleep the whole day away. After last night, I wouldn’t be surprised…” Wink. Wink.

“Hey, like, Rhonda here has been telling me how you guys met and all, man. Who would have thought you would take to sumo wrestling?”

“Rhonda? Rhonda who?” I spoke in stunned breaths.

“Aww…isn’t he a kidder. Why me, silly. Your wife. Don’t you remember we got married at the casino?”



Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Oh man, now you're in deep.

You know mixed marriages never work.

Captain Typho said...

Poor JJ. You get to hear the following bellowed out in stereo:

"JJ! Didn't I tell you to take out the trash?"

"JJ! My mother is coming to live with us. Qui-Gon has to go -- she's scared of ghosts."

Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Like, no...
Rhonda is cool with me, man. She even picked up my poncho at the dry cleaners...
But, yeah, I could see where this would upset the dynamic of our friendship.
And I could see why you'd want to stay with a female with two mouths...
Maybe I should start packing.

JawaJuice said...

no! No!! Don't leave me, Qui!
Don't leave me alone with...her...

Master Yoda said...

"What happens at Mos Eisley stays in Mos Eisley"

- unless in a drive-thru wedding chapel it happens!

Noel of Neptonian said...
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