“Holy crap!! Did I pay for that?”
“Why of course, sweetie-pea. Don’t you remember? We got it from Watto himself.” She fluttered her gangly fingers in the air.
“How much did that flying tick want for it?”
“But you told him your love for me was greater than that and said he would have to take an even hundred for it.”
“Woah, dude. You must have really been wasted to haggle up like that.” Qui-Gon mentioned while pouring himself a second cup of tea.
“Gee, ya think?” This was just too much for me to process on a hangover. I needed some time to think. “I…I think I’m going to go back to bed…”
“oooh…Does that mean you’re wanting a little more…Hammer-Time?”
“Eh…on second though…I think I’ll just take a shower….alone…”
I stepped out of the kitchen and slowly wattled back to my living quarters. Now what do I do? I got a wife…what was her name again? Rhonda? Rhonda the Ithorian. Good God, could my life get any worse.
“Uh…J.J. …” I heard Qui-Gon’s ethereal voice drift up behind me. “Uh…can I ask you something?”
“Ohhh…I suppose so. What is it?”
“So like…I’m your best friend and all right?”
“So like…why didn’t you invite me to your wedding and all, man. I would have like…baked some special wedding brownies and all had I known.”
“Hey, If I had known I was getting married to…that…I would have stabbed myself repeatedly until I resembled swiss cheese. I was wasted, Qui. I was out of my freaking head with booze and death sticks and god knows what else. The last thing I remember was sitting in a pool ordering drinks. …And that was just the first day. Who knows what else I did while I was there. But I certainly wouldn’t have gotten married to Miss Black n’ Decker in there!”
Ah jeez…here come the tears…