Props to Anakin (as the kids say these days), for finding and rescuing me from the evil clutches of Pimp master Calrissian. I was held in a fur-lined cell with nothing to wear but Victoria Secret hand-me-downs, I was beginning to think I was Mace Windu. (oops...eh, was that thing you told me a few weeks ago confidential, Mace ol buddy?)
So thanks for taking care of that Lando guy (and all this time I thought he was a system), so as a reward you have a free year's supply of Uncle Jinn & J.J.'s Special spiced brownies ™! Plus, you can hang out here at pad anytime you need a place to crash away from the old lady. ...or Padmé.
Thanks also Q-J, for sending up a flair. I got your back, man.
Anyhoo. Looks like things have gotten kinda weird while I've been away. How long has Obi-Wan been doing his impersonation of a plate of jello? When did Fozzy Bear become a Sith Lord? Who's this Nick Fury wannabe? And what's up with Han these days? Every time he sees me, he gets this weird hungry look in his eyes and starts smacking his lips. It's kinda creeping me out.
All the brownies are made for the month, Qui-Gon's gone off to practice his axe, I think after all the excitement I've been through (what with the rebellion and all (...?)), I think it's time I took a nice long rest.
So for the next few days, I think I'll get a few of my lesser-known friends to guest blog for me.
...It'll take me that long just to get this damned corset off.