Thursday, July 28, 2005

Enter...Flukizmo! Master of Magic

A few weeks ago, Fluke came over all dressed in black robes and he really freaked me out. No, he wasn’t turning to the dark side…at least not yet…instead he came by all excited and said he needed my help.

“eh…sure Fluke. Anything for a friend. That is…I won’t have to sell anything for half price, will I?”

“No no, nothing likes that.”

That was a relief. “Okay, so what’s up?”

I’m changing my name and changing my act.”

I only had a second to try and process what he said before he spread his black cloak out, revealing a glittery red lining underneath and wearing a sequence cummerbund. “From now on I will be known as…Flukizmo! Master of Magic!”

“Oh…I get it. They were having a two-for-one sale at the ‘Shock-n-Awe Shock Therapy Mart’ down the road and seeing as how you had some extra time…”

“Wrong! Flukizmo! Master of Magic will now demonstrate his amazing powers for you to crouch in pure disbelieveablittity!”

“eh…is that a word?”

“Quick! Pick a card.” He then shoved a deck of cards in my face. I guess he was playing with a full deck after all. So I played along and picked something.

“Now remember that card and put it back in the deck anywhere.”

I did. He then shuffled the deck with a maddened glee on his face. Then, in true dramatic style he pulled out a card.















"THIS....is your card."
"Nope."
"It's not?"
"Nope."
He grabbed the deckand picked another card.

















"Then THIS is surely your card!"
"Eh...sorry Fluke, but..."
"Wait...wait..."



















"THIS is your card."
"No."



















"This one?"
"Wha-? ...whoa. eh...no."




















"This one?"
"No. um....could I see that last card again?"




















"This is your card."
"Sorry."



















"How about this one?"
"Nope."



















"...This?
"Nadda."




















"......?"
*Shake head*



















"Ya? Ya?"
"Uh Uh."



















"Are you sure it's not this one?"
"Are you sure it's not Yoda's?"



















"How about this one?"
"Nope. That's just...WAITASEC! THAT'S MY CREDIT CARD!
"ah-HA! So this is your card!" He then stood up in the middle of the room with his arms spread wide and yelled to the four courners of the room. "THE GREAT FLUKIZMO HAS DONE IT AGAIN!!!!"

It would have been a better trick if he didn't first max out my card on porn sites.

8 comments:

Anakin Skywalker said...

disbelieveablittity is so a real word, cause I remember Obi-Wan makin me use it in a sentence once.

Leia said...

Just be glad he's not wearing wrestling tights.

Aayla Secura said...

At least he didn't do his "take my underwear off without first removing my pants" trick.

flu said...

You'd just better be glad you didn't wager anything, lil buddy!

I know an easy mark when I see one!

Now, on to planet Vegas, where I shall baffle and astonish throngs of adoring fans as I work my mystical magical musical cosmical climatical ecuminical geophysical hypocritical illogical methodical isometrical neological paradoxical orgasmical paracentrical psychological romantical unsymmetrical and semihistorical self!

I'm gonna light up the galaxy!

WOOT!

PS: Did you not notice my ruby red spats? You didn't even mention them. :-(

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

(Slow applause)
It boggles my mind.

Jedi Amanda said...

that blows.

jedisiri said...

oh he didn't move at all!is he a statue?

Oola said...

Mental Note:tell jabba not to book him at his whateverith birthday party!I don't wanna be killed,at least,not NOW!