The sun is out and the very air is abuzz with speeders. It's a fine day on Coruscant. Time to get by butt out of the apartment and take a good look at the city I now call my home.
Man, there's a lot to do around here. Just getting to the cross town shuttle I passed five bars, three clubs and a water park for Wookies. I think I'll pass on that one.
My first stop of the day, one of the largest thrill ride parks around: Six Flags over Coruscant. Brimming with anticipation, I plunked down my 85 credits at the gate and waddled in. This place had everything: anti-gravity bobsleds, quasar-speed rollercoasters, five mile high death-drop shoots, and a myriad of other twisty-thingies to make even the most stout hearted Jedi Master blow chunks.
Eager to become one of the screaming masses, I strolled up to my first ride. ...Only to be stopped by a sign.
No problem, I'll just find another one. But the next ride posted the same discriminating sentry. ...and the next...and the next. In fact everywhere I went that same sign was in prominent display. And I mean everywhere! If I wanted to pay 85 credits just to watch other people scream and shout while eating two week old crusty corndogs, I'd have hung out at Obi-Wan's place.
Then came the salt in my wound.
From somewhere behind me, I heard the shrill screams of a little girl in the throws of delight. I only had a moment to register the running child before I was lifted up in the air and tossed about like a rabid Gungan.
"Daddy! Daddy!" she screamed in my ear. "This one! This one! I want this one!"
Her dad stopped a passing park employee. "How much for the Cabbage Patch doll?"
The pimply-faced employee gave me a look of disbelief.
Yes! Finally someone with some common sense, someone who will rescue my dignity, someone who will...
"NO! WAIT! I am NOT a DOLL!" I screamed.
"Hmmm...It talks. 20 credits."
Money was exchanged and the next thing I knew I was being dragged out of the park by some sticky fingered girl with a lollypop shoved down my mouth.
I bet this sort of thing never happens to Yoda...